About

From my favorite posts:

“I want to “be” there — in that state of longing — because anticipating good things makes me the kind of person who I could bring to Paris. Milk-pouring, laundry-folding, harried-mommy me can stay behind. I’m bringing the girl who pleasant-gags at sunbeams. I want to travel with a dreamer.” From Wherever You Go, There You Are

 

“In my mind’s eye, I saw myself, sketched out by an artist instructed to draw “pathetic” personified. This ugly little version of me was “going around saying” like a fly jumping from one rotten picnic sandwich to another.” From Just So You Know, You Are Cordially Not Invited

 

“Why am I here in this diner, sitting down for a breakfast date with this guy — this guy who, apparently, I have encouraged to the point of longing gazes and open-mouthed breathing, and allowing his kids call me Mommy? This guy who looks like a mash-up of an old neighbor and that strange cashier at Giant who talks my ear off every time I accidentally go through his line.” From Subconsciously, I Really Love Him

 

“The heat, as I expected, began to do weird things to my skin.  I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks, as the tip of my nose and the tops of my ears started to tingle.  My make-up, which had gone on effortlessly just 30 minutes before, was now congealing; every pore and fine line threatened a push to the surface. Lush, black eyelashes slowly morphed into scary, clumpy spider legs….The full success of my “look” hinged on perfect hair and make-up distracting from the possibility of a puffy gut.  I could sense my plan slowly unraveling.” From A Typical Saturday Evening Drive When We’re On The Verge Of A Good Time

 

“I didn’t actually say the f#!@ part, but I wanted to.  Badly.  And, I did imply it with my tone and body language while arguing in the foyer at 9:05 this morning (school starts at 9:15, natch).  With one eye on his indignant little face, and the other assessing the dirt and debris taking up residence in ALL FOUR corners of the entrance way, I was at the end of my rope….I wish it were possible to erase your life and re-draw it without bad attitudes and dirt.  And maybe sketch in some better furniture, too.” From  How I Was Feeling On One Random Day In March

 

“….I was blissfully absorbed in ‘Sunday’….which is probably why I had my guard down, so to speak, though I still contend that there should be no need for such “guard” in your own home in front of your own husband — especially on a Sunday….[a]nyway, I guess I had my guard down, because I made a comment that I am still hearing about, and likely will continue to hear about until one of us dies or at least becomes senile…” From Houston, What Was My Problem?

 

“Because both the boyfriend and his sister still lived together at home, it was not unusual for the whole cast of us characters — me and the boyfriend, the boyfriend’s sister and her beautiful friends — to have to share space and interact more than I would have liked.  I cannot tell you how many times I sat — in the sweatpants and the tangled pencil hair and the Ben Franklin spectacles — huddled under an afghan on the sofa watching Supermarket Sweep or some other nonsense, when the sister and her friends would walk in….” From The Onse Good Thing A Bad Boyfriend Did

 

“As I put my groceries on the counter, I felt that tug at my chest that told me I ought to say something to her.  I should tell her what beautiful skin she had.  And why not?  How often do people ever really say what’s on their mind, especially when it’s something this good?  Not too often, I would guess.  And, I happen to know that there is something extra special about a compliment gifted to one woman by another — it has a way of settling into the very fiber of your being because you can actually dare to believe it.  It changes you.  In a good way….” From Sort Of Like A Runner’s High, But Better

 

“Etched in black Bic pen against the stark white of an MVA envelope was a large question mark… A very particular kind of question mark, actually.  It’s top arc was not round and friendly, but sharp and impatient.  It’s tail did not wisp into the oblivion of endless possibilities, but continued dark and deliberately down in a pressing and urgent probe.  This was no casual query, but an inquisition…. A “what” and a “how” and a “were you” and a “do you” all rolled in to one piece of haughty geometry….” From How A Strategically Placed Question Mark Caused A Week’s Worth of Tension

 

“I had what most humans would interpret as angry-sour-I’m-pissed-at-someone-sorry-if-you-all-have-to-witness-this face.   To be honest, I did sort of feel a little contorted, facially speaking.  I kind of remember my mouth sort of twisted, my lips pursed together.  I remember feeling the fat under my jawline being slightly squished by my neck becasue I had my head cocked to the side just so….And that’s sort of the last impression most of our dinner companions had of me, that face marking the end of the evening.” From Making Faces

 

“In that split-second decision-making mode, a spark of something other than measured reason  has a chance to set fire to your instincts, hurling you into territory you aren’t really prepared for:….you gun your big, honking SUV in reverse, and prepare to frantically hurl yourself down a quiet neighborhood cul-de-sac in search of family-on-tractor/handsome guy/no, really, truly, family-on-tractor/but, okay, a little bit handsome guy, too.” From Two Embarrassing Vehicular Episodes on a Beautiful Saturday

 

“My mind began to drift.  I slowly panned the church for people I recognized.  Hmmmm — I wonder who came today.  I whipped up a quick game of Where’s Waldo? trading out the bespectacled guy in red and white stripes for neighbors who belonged to our congregation.  I had pretty much planned to check out until communion time.” From  70 Times 7 Is Only 490

 

“I am now catching on that these are not the ramblings of innocent child-observers just saying what comes to mind.  This was the makings of my boys’ first joint effort in observational humor at my expense.  They know I would never take them to school in my robe.  They’re just laying the bait for each other.” From If The Robe Fits…

 

“Now, you sort of intuit that this co-worker is not exactly moving in your orbit; they aren’t putting out any “productive” or “successful” or “I-got-an-awesome-weekend-planed” vibes.    No, they seem more “I-think-I -really-missed-an-opportunity-to-take-initiative-and-now-it-will-hang-over-my-head-like-a-dark-cloud-of-doom-all-weekend.”  They also seem like maybe they’re getting a cold, and will likely spend the whole weekend in bed with their cat.” From I Call It “Croutons

 

“I think we all look kind of dumb as faces in windows of moving cars.  Vroooom, vroooom, ziiiiip, vrooooom.  Sometimes when people peel out, the faces jerk back real quick.  Snap.  It’s hard to look cool, or serious, or like you have your life all figured out, when you sit in someone’s passenger seat.” From Cars Are Like Fishbowls

 

“….the absence of my own possibilities sometimes feels like a phantom limb reminding me of all that will never be….” From  Being “Settled” Is, Well…A Bit Unsettling

 

“What is it with that face, by the way?  The face we make in that precise moment we spin around to go back to our seat…..it’s like a dopey outtake from the opening credits of a bad ’80′s sitcom.  Look directly into the camera.  Now, give an “oh, gee” shrug, and then shake your head in amused resign.”  From All The World’s A Stage

 

“I have a theory on one thing that makes marriage really, really hard sometimes.  It’s just one thing — not the thing — and again, it’s just a theory.  I’ll tell you what I think, and you tell me if you agree.  I’d like to call this one thing the false promise of a “sexy problem.”  Let me explain.” From Sexy Problems

 

 


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4 comments

  1. Megan

    Hey Lauren! Congratulations on your blog! I can’t wait to read more. You are such a brilliant writer. I’ll check yours each day I check Beth’s. I hope to see you soon too. :)
    xoxo

    • Lauren

      M,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so glad you are reading. It means a lot. I look forward to having you in my “audience.”

      Love you,

      L

  2. trish griffith

    Lauren,
    You are an amazing writer…what a wonderful gift. Your dear mother and I have been friends since 4th grade and I remember you when you were an adorable little girl! So excited to find your blog and I am looking forward to reading your previous posts. One of my daughter’s friends did the make-up and hair for Mad Men a couple of years ago!
    You have a God given talent and I am excited to be part of your “audience.”
    Love,
    Trish

    • Lauren

      T,

      Thank you for the kind words. I am thrilled to have you join me here on the blog!

      I still remember the time you and your family came to visit us while we were vacationing in Ocean City. You were pregnant with your daughter. I remember you bought me a necklace that I had admired in one of the little gift shops. That was so sweet of you.

      I hope you keep reading, and joining in the conversation.

      L

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